Firo in Chennai: Just Another Shiny Distraction?

Velveteen Rabbit is dead. Okay, fine. Another one bites the dust. But are we really supposed to get excited about another sleek dining room with "competitive cocktail menu?" Give me a break. Chennai gets a new restaurant. Big deal.

Reimagined Indian Food or Reheated Hype?

"Indian reimagined." That's what they're calling it. Right. So, fusion. Fusion is almost always a disaster, isn't it? Like those "sushi burritos" that were trendy for five minutes.

Chef Ajit Bangera, the "secret weapon," apparently updated luxury dining at ITC Grand Chola. Okay, but what does that actually mean? Luxury dining is usually just code for overpriced and pretentious. And "flying idlis"? Seriously? Sounds like something out of a bad dream.

The article gushes about yoghurt sorbet chaat and prawn ceviche on potato straws. Imaginative? Maybe. Necessary? Absolutely not. Are we really craving "playful variety of textures" when we just want a decent meal? I'm not so sure.

And this whole "inspired by ingredients and classic recipes sourced from across the country" thing... It's marketing speak. It's a distraction. Are they doing anything new, or are they just slapping a fancy label on the same old stuff?

Cocktails and Culinary Clichés

Oh, and the cocktails. Of course, there are cocktails. "Indian ingredients to tweak classics." Blue pea flower syrup? Spiced jaggery syrup? Edible camphor? Sounds like a chemistry experiment gone wrong. I'll take a beer, thanks.

Tanya, "cheery, curly haired," created the beverage program. Good for her. But does anyone actually care about the beverage program? It's a restaurant, not a nightclub.

Then there's the dosa taco. Okay, that actually sounds interesting. Goa-inspired pork, sous vide, with malt vinegar and red chilli... I'll admit, my interest is piqued. But sweet Gujarati chunda and sour cream? Why? Just... why?

But Vallombrosa's cheesemaking monks? Okay, I'm officially lost. What does any of this have to do with Chennai? Or "Indian reimagined" food?

The food shows restraint, apparently, except for the safed dal. Which "pales beside the oomph of a traditional dal makhani." Translation: it sucks.

We end with coconut parfait and semolina pudding. Fine. Whatever.

The Rabbit's Ghost

The article mentions jazz music and shrieks of laughter from ITC chefs. Aww, how nice. The "rabbit may have made its exit, but its spirit clearly remains." Gag me with a spoon.

Pre-bookings are open via Instagram for Rs 1000 per head. Dinner for two is approximately Rs 3000. So, basically, it's expensive. And trendy. And probably not worth the hype. According to Firo launches in Chennai with a restaurant and cocktail bar, Firo is now open.

Offcourse, maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe Firo is actually good. Maybe Chennai needed another sleek dining room with a competitive cocktail menu. Maybe "Indian reimagined" food is the future.

Nah.

So, What's the Point?

It's all just a giant, overpriced distraction from the fact that Velveteen Rabbit is gone. And honestly, that's a tragedy.